The morning after

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The morning after holidays can be rough – like a hangover, but for guilt and judgement: “I ate too much (fill in the blank).” “I’m a disgusting pig for eating my kid’s candy.” “Diet starts today!” And so goes the cycle of guilt, shame, restriction.

The morning after Easter has been especially challenging for me in the past. Maybe it comes from the expectation: that everything is supposed to be bright and shiny and fresh, or from my own disillusionment with religion. A lot of it came from eating (read: sneaking) what I thought was far too much chocolate than one person should ever be allowed to consume in a single day. It wasn’t from enjoyment, or even tasting it most of the time, it was from fear – I didn’t think I deserved chocolate, so I better eat all of it TODAY because I would never give myself permission to eat it again. It’s also the day, almost exactly three years ago, that I finally started treatment for anxiety and disordered eating. At the time, I never would have believed it was possible to enjoy a holiday like Easter – eating chocolate and all – without judgement.

Because eating chocolate yesterday does not mean you cannot eat what you want today. (Even if that includes more chocolate!) It has nothing to do with your worthiness. You are still deserving of love and patience and kindness. Without restriction. Without judgement.

This entry was posted in Body Image, Body Shaming, Eating Disorders, Food Fight, Holidays, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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